How can two walk together unless they
agree? The truth is, many marriages get
ruined because of misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings are brought about by
a lack of agreement on how to handle
the issues that affect each marriage.
Failing to agree will lead to the husband
and wife interpreting things differently
leading to feelings of hurt, insensitivity,
rejection, intolerance and indifference.
Agree with your spouse on the do’s and
don’ts. Have these rules.
1. “Sex rules”
Agree that you can have sex in
whichever way and position, but also
agree on what you will not try out. For
example; no anal sex, or no
masturbation when you have each other,
or no pornography use, or no inflicting
pain or no making love when she is on
monthly periods and if he is horny then,
how will she pleasure him? Each couple
is different. Agree on what are the
limits.
2. “Phone rules”
Agree on how to handle the phone. For
example, no chatting with others past
11pm for that is intimate time, no
secrecy, no need to walk away when
someone calls, inform your spouse about
who has called.
3. “Money rules”
Agree on how to use money. Will you
have a joint bank account? What
percentage can each use without the
requirement of notifying the other? Who
pays for what bills? Saving. Investing. No
giving money to in-laws without joint
consent.
4. “Coming home rules”
What should you do in case you’re
coming home late? Make a phone call?
How late is too late to come home? Your
spouse doesn’t mind you coming home
late as long as it is agreed. Marriage is
not about selfish you but you two as
partners.
5. “Social rules”
Agree you will make effort to introduce
each other to your friends. Agree on how
close friends of the opposite gender can
get. Agree on which friends to keep.
Agree on how often friends can visit.
Your home shouldn’t be invaded by
friends. There needs to be boundaries.
6. “Information rules”
Agree to notify each other where you
are, even if with just a simple text. Agree
on the need to tell each other your
individual schedule of the day. Keep
your spouse in the know.
7. “Temper rules”
Agree on what to do when you both get
mad at each other. Do you give yourself
space? Withdraw for some minutes? Do
you deal with the issue quickly? No going
to sleep mad at each other. Conflict
resolution.
8. “Chore rules”
Agree on who does what in the house.
This will prevent any of you from feeling
like they are doing too much.
9. “Social media rules”
Agree on the do’s and don’ts of social
media. For example, no being Facebook
friends with your ex, no commenting
suggestively on other people’s post, no
indecent behaviour, no airing domestic
issues on social media.
10. “Work rules”
Agree on limits of work. For example, no
coming home with work, what to do
when your careers conflict? What to do
when you have different working hours?
When to take leave or off days?
11. “Parenthood rules”
Agree on how to discipline the children,
who does what, who goes for Parents’
days in school, do you take turns? What
kind of food will the children eat?
12. “Individual space rules”
Agree that sometimes each of you will
want some alone time, to work or to
meditate or just relax. Agree on how to
notify your spouse when you want a few
minutes to yourself. Your spouse will
give you room if you need it.
Agreeing on these key issues brings
about order, peace and unity; both of
you will know how to navigate and
behave.
If your marriage is chaotic because of
lack of order. It’s not too late to have a
conversation leading to the agreement
on these issues.
Make your marriage simple.
agree? The truth is, many marriages get
ruined because of misunderstandings.
Misunderstandings are brought about by
a lack of agreement on how to handle
the issues that affect each marriage.
Failing to agree will lead to the husband
and wife interpreting things differently
leading to feelings of hurt, insensitivity,
rejection, intolerance and indifference.
Agree with your spouse on the do’s and
don’ts. Have these rules.
1. “Sex rules”
Agree that you can have sex in
whichever way and position, but also
agree on what you will not try out. For
example; no anal sex, or no
masturbation when you have each other,
or no pornography use, or no inflicting
pain or no making love when she is on
monthly periods and if he is horny then,
how will she pleasure him? Each couple
is different. Agree on what are the
limits.
2. “Phone rules”
Agree on how to handle the phone. For
example, no chatting with others past
11pm for that is intimate time, no
secrecy, no need to walk away when
someone calls, inform your spouse about
who has called.
3. “Money rules”
Agree on how to use money. Will you
have a joint bank account? What
percentage can each use without the
requirement of notifying the other? Who
pays for what bills? Saving. Investing. No
giving money to in-laws without joint
consent.
4. “Coming home rules”
What should you do in case you’re
coming home late? Make a phone call?
How late is too late to come home? Your
spouse doesn’t mind you coming home
late as long as it is agreed. Marriage is
not about selfish you but you two as
partners.
5. “Social rules”
Agree you will make effort to introduce
each other to your friends. Agree on how
close friends of the opposite gender can
get. Agree on which friends to keep.
Agree on how often friends can visit.
Your home shouldn’t be invaded by
friends. There needs to be boundaries.
6. “Information rules”
Agree to notify each other where you
are, even if with just a simple text. Agree
on the need to tell each other your
individual schedule of the day. Keep
your spouse in the know.
7. “Temper rules”
Agree on what to do when you both get
mad at each other. Do you give yourself
space? Withdraw for some minutes? Do
you deal with the issue quickly? No going
to sleep mad at each other. Conflict
resolution.
8. “Chore rules”
Agree on who does what in the house.
This will prevent any of you from feeling
like they are doing too much.
9. “Social media rules”
Agree on the do’s and don’ts of social
media. For example, no being Facebook
friends with your ex, no commenting
suggestively on other people’s post, no
indecent behaviour, no airing domestic
issues on social media.
10. “Work rules”
Agree on limits of work. For example, no
coming home with work, what to do
when your careers conflict? What to do
when you have different working hours?
When to take leave or off days?
11. “Parenthood rules”
Agree on how to discipline the children,
who does what, who goes for Parents’
days in school, do you take turns? What
kind of food will the children eat?
12. “Individual space rules”
Agree that sometimes each of you will
want some alone time, to work or to
meditate or just relax. Agree on how to
notify your spouse when you want a few
minutes to yourself. Your spouse will
give you room if you need it.
Agreeing on these key issues brings
about order, peace and unity; both of
you will know how to navigate and
behave.
If your marriage is chaotic because of
lack of order. It’s not too late to have a
conversation leading to the agreement
on these issues.
Make your marriage simple.
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