WAYS TO KNOW SHE IS AFTER YOUR MONEY

She looks like a model and her folks like you.
But you keep wishing you could transplant the
brain of the girl with whom you backpacked
around Europe into her head. If there's a small
voice warning you about this woman, perhaps
she fits into one of the following categories:
The scene stealer
Your lady friend needs to speak a little more
loudly, be a little more theatrical or come up
with some lengthy, intriguing anecdote
whenever you have company. It probably
means she needs to be the centre of attention.
Some guys find it fun to be with an
exhibitionist, but it's likely to have temporary
appeal. It might also put strain on your other
relationships, and you may end up having to
choose. Or maybe you've just grown a bit
stuffy and boring and she's actually good for
you. The reaction of your friends or family may
guide you, unless they're stuffy and boring too.
Being able to listen and to make each other
smile is a good yardstick.
The heart-lung machine
Can't go for a walk on your own or have a beer
with your mates without being subjected to
days of misery? You may be dating a sticker. If
her cat just got run over, or if her neighbour
was attacked while gardening yesterday, these
are external factors making her insecure. It's
your cue to be warm and understanding. But if
it's been months since you had any time on
your own, you have cause for concern.
Try suggesting that she have her book club
night while you play pool with your mates. If
that still doesn't work, look for the exit sign.
Remember that solitude is good for you both,
and for your relationship.
The freeloader
This is as unbecoming in women as it is in
men. If your new friend never seems to have
any cash on her and always promises to pay
you back later, start keeping mental tally. The
law of averages says that you're being taken
for a ride if you've paid for lunch number four.
If you just inherited a castle, some yachts and
several Euros, you might be feeling expansive
and inclined to pay for everything. But it's the
21st Century, folks. Most women will at least
offer to go Dutch, even if they know you'll
insist on hauling out your magic plastic. Or
they may be completely open and say: "Look,
I'm a bit overdrawn this month. Next time it's
on me." Fine. If it isn't, bail out.
Unless you like being a sugar daddy, in which
case you're in as much trouble as she is.
The baggage handler
Bad things happen in relationships, and they
can leave you feeling bruised emotionally. But
if your date is constantly scrutinising your
behaviour for signs that you're in some way
like her succession of dysfunctional, no-good
former boyfriends, entertain some second
thoughts.
If you're serious about each other, you'll have
to allow some latitude and take some
emotional risks. If her father was an alcoholic
and gambling addict who dabbled and drank
away the family fortune, you can expect her to
be sensitive about you knocking back shooters
and feeding the blackjack machines after your
office party.
If you have the complete collection of James
Bond movies on DVD and her dad cheated on
his wife, encourage her not to lose
perspective. After all, several Bond leading
men were solid family types in real life,
Moneypenny.
The chatterbox
Inane chatter may mean that she's simply
flustered by your male presence and darkly
good looks. In the early days of wooing her,
this means you're on the right track. But if the
conversation is a continuous monologue about
things that really interest neither of you, you
may need to look long and hard at yourself in
the rear view mirror: could you drive across
America - or even the Karoo - with this
woman?
Some blokes are happy with talkers. Having
safely established that they're required to do
nothing more than nod pleasantly, they go into
listen mode. If she has a really lovely voice,
this can be enjoyable. But if it's a banal,
stream-of-consciousness yarn about the traffic,
the crowds at the mall and the prices of
shoes, it may mean she's insecure.
Some people worry that silence between
people equals tension, but silence can be a
good sign - that you're comfortable in each
other's company. Or that one of you has left.
It's why many blokes go fishing together, or
alone, if their friends are talkers.